It is important for me to know if Jack is okay. I don't know how I will go about finding that out, I just hope he is okay. Your job as a parent is so fundamental. Are your children cared for~ warm, safe, dry, sated? I don't know that about Jack right now. On the flip side of things, I am no longer worried about him. Is he blue? Is he sick? Is his heart failing? Those constant worries that I had for 4 years are gone, out of my system. And I dont' have them with my other son, Will. He is healthy as a horse.
I feel guilty for making such a big deal about the coumadin, now it looks so small in the big scheme of things. How I would have dealt with it, dialysis, medication, anything for that wonderful boy. He was such a delight to know, to love, to care for. A big personality. My son, my personality. Always fighting, never giving up.
I know that he didn't want to die. That is what makes all of this suck.
I am sorry Jack that you aren't here with me to live your life. I promised that you would honor and glorify those who made it possible for you to live. Guess they weren't listening to me.
Mwah.
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