Sam reminded me of a funny story about Jack, which made us both laugh and cry.

When he was about 18 months old, we would let him go out in the back yard of our old house



Don't walk into the light~ who has to tell their kids that?

The Loss Of Jack

Has changed every aspect of my life.

I no longer take joy in listening to music, watching TV, or going out with my friends. Everything is permetated with grief, over the losing him.

Will I ever be able to enjoy those things again or will they always be tinged with a bit of sadness?

This is so hard

Incredibly hard, on us as individuals and us as a couple. I look at our wedding photos and wonder, what happened to those people? We were happy, in love, glad to be getting married.

Now look at us. We are both running, in different ways. Sam consumes his time with work, I numbly go through the motions, focusing on the house, Will while I decidedly don't take care of my body.

I am so sad, so lost, just missing Jack. Where is that sweet, sweet boy and how is this possible that I will never see him again. How the years will pile up and I will still not be able to see him. He suffered so.

I blem myself but what more could I have done? I stood by his bed for all tohse months willing him to get better, doing everything I thought I could do.

And even before that we did everything. His medicined was only late 3 times.

That beautiful child.